My relationship with Jesus

I've been wanting to share about the story of my relationship with Jesus on this blog all week, but just haven't been sure how to go about doing it. I don't want it to sound cheesy or preachy... just honest. And I hope that some one may come to have a relationship with Jesus, because of His conviction, through my words. (Certainly not due to my words as I can't convict anyone of their need for Him.) So here goes...

I was raised in a conservative, Christian home and brought to church all my life. I was probably 6 or 7 the first time I remember hearing that I needed to "ask Jesus in my heart" to "be saved." My Sunday School teacher presented the message, and though I remember her being intimidating, and I remember her wearing Princess Leia braids (hey, it was the mid 80s!), I am thankful for her faithfulness in teaching that class of young-sters. That night, I prayed that Jesus would forgive me of my sins and "come into my heart." I didn't have a good understanding of what I was doing, but I believe I was sincere. I became baptized at 9 years old through my own decision.

Through my teen years, I struggled with a lot of doubts about whether I was going to heaven. I would struggle and agonize, and then pray the prayer of salvation all over again, to "make sure." I was young and still didn't truly understand what it meant to be a Christian. How did I know if this prayer "took"?  These doubts followed me into college... and that's where I truly fell in love with Jesus for the first time.

It was my junior year, second semester. I still remember the night, the service, so clearly. The campus church I attended was having it's semester-ly "revival services." Sounds silly, but Jesus met me there that night. I don't remember what was being preached on. But there was a voice in my head that instructed me to start really, I don't know, LISTENING to Jesus. Focusing on Him. Not just reading the Bible, but concentrating on it to find out what He wanted to say to me. And that semester, I fell in love with Him. This kind of love is not weird or cultish... it is true Christianity. So much more than religion, so much more than a set of rules; it is a relationship with the Creator of the universe. For the first time, I understand what it meant that Jesus died for ME. I understand how dark and horrible my sins were and how much I needed a Savior to take my sins away. I understood that Christianity was not just a prayer ("please, Lord, forgive my sins and come into my heart... amen"). It was a decision on my behalf to believe that I was saved by Jesus' blood, not by any works that I could preform. Through Jesus' grace, through His death. He didn't have to die! He chose to die because He loved me. And then 3 days later, He rose again, conquering sin and death for ME!

I also learned something else that semester. Even though I was "saved" (from hell) through grace alone (not due to any good actions on my part), true salvation IS followed by life-change. When I chose to accept Jesus as my Savior (from sin and death and hell), I exchanged my sin, my flesh, and my desires for His will. And, though I'm far from perfect, (as I'm sure Matt and everyone close to me could tell you), I know that I live more according to His will today than I did. Salvation is immediate but life-change is a process. I fail. But I have a loving Savior that always forgives, always picks me up, always loves. Thank you, Jesus.

http://vimeo.com/25012543

I hope that link works. If anyone reading this would like to know more about what I said, please listen to this sermon that my pastor preached on Sunday.