I laid Brooke down 20 minutes ago, and she's still in her crib playing. I just heard her say, "doggy" (which sounds more like "duh-e.") Considering she was falling asleep in her highchair during lunch 20 minutes ago, I don't know how she's holding strong in there. At least she's not crying... (yet).

Yesterday was one of those days where I spent the whole day feeling like a bad mother (do you guys have those days?). First, she slams her fingers in a cabinet. Then later that day, I stepped on her toes when she was crawling by. She developed a horrid diaper rash (after pooping 4 times in one day!), and then was hysterical whenever I  tried to change her. Her hair was greasy, and her white shirt had spaghetti sauce stains. And she was abnormally fussy, and I could NOT figure out why. On top of all this, I'm still fighting cold symptoms and felt stuffed up and nasty all day. And Chloe is making me feel like I have elephants ripping and straining my hips out of joint (Lovely!). So yeah... it was one of those days where I couldn't wait to put Brooke to bed, so I could... uhhh... pass out myself. Which I did by about 10:00.

Then today, I had an OB app't. I was feeling unusually unselfish so I told Matt he didn't have to go. (He's had a crazy week and hates to be put behind by these now every-other-week appointments).  Bad mistake! For some reason, even if strangers are ignoring Brooke, if  they are doing something to me (like taking my blood pressure), she becomes like a ma-ma bear protecting her cubs. So I'm in a chair, trying to remain relaxed so my blood pressure isn't through the roof, and Brooke is sitting in her stroller next to me, flailing and screaming bloody murder. Same when the doctor was dopplering my belly. Between these occasions, we were walking around the exam room for 30 minutes, WAITING for the doctor. Brooke was fussy and desperately trying to get out of my arms so she could crawl around on the nasty floor. And then I spilled yogurt all in my diaper bag. No more unselfish mornings for me! I admit, I cannot go to OB appointments alone!

Quiet over the monitor... blessed quiet! It's an early nap (I might regret that around 6:00 tonight), but at least for now, peace. Why didn't anyone tell me toddlers were so much work?!  :)

Besides all this craziness, I was reminded through talking to a couple friends yesterday, both of whom are having trials, how difficult life can be, and how much we are dependent on God's grace. Sometimes the trials are seemingly minor (like chicken pox... shout out to you if you are reading this, Faith). Sometimes they are major like infertility problems. And I was reminded to cry out to God in the hard moments and to sing to God in praise in the good ones. Yesterday was not all bad. I laughed like crazy when I picked Brooke up out of the shower (a second time), soaking wet, and confused (I don't know why she insists on climbing in there.)  Matt (being the wonderful man he is) saw the state I was in when he got home from work and proceeded to say, "so... where do you want to go to dinner?" (Bless you, Matt!) We ended up trying a new italian place in town and had a great time. I managed to not order anything off the internet all day (of course, that may have been due to lack of time... energy... motivation...whatever). And I went to the revenue office to renew Matt's tags on his car and was in and out in 20 minutes (a new record!) So praise God for the blessings. And continue to pray for grace and wisdom in the difficult moments. He is good... and earth is fleeting. Maybe those difficult moments are to remind us of a day where "every tear shall be wiped away." Imagine, constant, abiding job, for all eternity! Thank you, Jesus!