Something I struggle with a lot: selfishness on weekends. Some horribly prideful imp inside of me tells me that because I've been so "sacrificial" and "serving" all week (after all, I've cleaned the showers, scrubbed the toilets, cooked meals, done laundry... all while taking care of a toddler AND being 32 weeks pregnant!), I should be able to have everything I want on Saturday and Sunday. Picture a lady of leisure, reclining on the sofa with her husband feeding her grapes and her children napping contentedly at her feet. Needless to say, this scenario has never been realized for me. So, on weekends, when Matt decides to go to a friend's house to play video games, or when Brooke's nap is cut short by the neighbor mowing his lawn, my prideful side signals my "depressed, woe-is-me" side to come out. And then I sulk because circumstances are not pleasing to ME. Well, I was horribly convicted today when reading Psalm 73, "Who have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire but You..." Yeah, if that were true in my life, I guess my emotions wouldn't be so dictated by my circumstances. But the truth is, there ARE things I desire on this earth besides Jesus. I desire comfort, enjoyment, relaxation at times. I desire laughter and fulfillment through relationships. I desire people to like me. There's nothing wrong with these things. But when they become the source of my contentment, then, yes, something is wrong. 

Well, today was a really good Saturday. Matt was home and a wonderful help around the house. Brooke took a decent nap and went to bed tonight without a fuss. We went to Logan's for dinner and then wandered Target afterwards (and Matt didn't complain once about my aimless shopping!) And tonight, I got to watch a chick flick while Matt finished up his paperwork. So today it was easy to take joy in my relationship with Jesus. It's tomorrow, when we're late to church, and Brooke cries the whole time in the nursery, and I have to fight crowds at Walmart to do my weekly grocery shopping that my conviction will be tested. So please help me, Jesus, to make You my one desire. Help me not to allow earthly desires to take my focus off of You!

I don't even know if those last paragraphs made sense... just ramblings that have been bouncing around my brain today. 

Chloe has the hiccups right now. It's so fun to feel those little bouncy convulsions and realize what I'm feeling. I felt them yesterday morning for the first time, and since then, have noticed them 4 or 5 times. I'm still so scared of what life is going to be like with 2 kids but I'm becoming more and more excited to meet this little one inside of me. She's very active like Brooke was. Especially at night. I love to watch little arms and legs flutter across my belly when she gets playful! I swear, Chloe and Brooke had their first fight the other day. I was reclining on my side next to Brooke, and she fell backwards right onto my belly. It freaked me out at first but it didn't really hurt so I figured Chloe was alright. Brooke then proceeded to stay sitting next to my belly, as I read to her. Chloe, who had been quiet before her sister landed on her, spent the next 10 minutes or so, kicking and punching like crazy against Brooke's back. Haha! Just wait until you come out Chloe... you won't stand a chance next to your big and VERY aggressive older sister!

Wow... it's after eleven, so I must go to bed. Church in the morning. Good night, All!