You know those blogs written by the perfect homemakers? The women that cook perfect meals, bake their own bread, have warm and gooey homemade desserts with dinner (that are somehow healthy as well as delicious), use coupons to save 95% on their grocery bill, and have a perfectly clean and organized home? Plus, they post devotionals on their blog and save the world in their spare time.  I'm not one of those women. But I'm addicted to reading their blogs. Maybe because I dream of becoming one of those women. Maybe because I've never actually met a woman like that and wonder if those "super mom" bloggers are faking it. Anyway, all that to say, I was reminded tonight how much I am NOT one of those perfect homemakers:

Matt has had a hard couple of days and I wanted to make him a treat. What better treat than a homemade copycat girl scout samoa. The pictures looked amazing. The instructions looked fairly simple (albeit time consuming). So... yeah. There ya go. I decided to simplify matters and NOT use cookie cutters to make the little donut shapes. (My first mistake?) Then, I couldn't get the caramel/coconut mixture to stick to the cookie (it was sticking to my hand, the knife, and the side of the bowl I melted it in just fine). By the time, I got to the chocolate, I was frustrated and tense and just didn't care anymore. After they cooled, Matt bit into one, and I asked him if it tasted like a samoa. He hesitated and then said, "Honestly? No." So... FAIL!! Then I spent the whole night feeling like I wasted an afternoon and was frustrated that I didn't just make chocolate chip cookies as a treat. And God had to remind me that not EVERY project I start is going to turn out perfectly because I'm NOT perfect. And that's okay. I don't have to strive to be a perfect homemaker, trophy wife, and super mom all at the same time. I try to keep a neat house, I try to show my kids that I love them and Jesus loves them, I try to make myself attractive for my husband. And sometimes I make ugly desserts in my spare time. :)

One of the highlights of my weekend is going out to eat as a family. I know it's not health-prudent or money-prudent; I don't care. It's the one time a week that I feel like I can relax at dinner and let someone else serve me. So, Friday night, Matt took the family out. We tried to go to Stoby's (our fave hole-in-the-wall where we live), but the parking lot was full. Then we went to Cactus Jacks (our fave Mexican restaurant) but ran into the same problem. So onto the local Italian place. We had the WORST service that we've ever received since we've been going out together. Seriously. The night was terrible; the food was not even that great. So I was all bummed that my weekly dinner out was ruined. Then Matt (being the great husband that he is) took me out again Sunday night to make up for it. And our perfect angel baby (Miss Chloe, herself) decided to cry and scream about 5 minutes after we set her in the high-chair. Loud enough to be heard across the whole restaurant. So Matt walked her around the restaurant while I sat with Brooke and waited for the waitress to bag up our dinner. Yep... at that point, we just had to laugh. Some things are just not meant to be, I guess. One of those stories that we'll tell Chloe about in 16 years and laugh over.

Well, I must fold laundry so Matt and I actually have a place to sleep tonight. Hope all are well...

I am somewhat of an insomniac at times. Nothing like some people; I've never had to take any meds for it except the occasional Benadryl. But I go through phases of lying in bed for hours before going to sleep. I don't know why I've been thinking about this because, with 2 little ones (one who still gets up at least once a night), I usually fall asleep when my head hits the pillow. But it took me awhile to fall asleep last night, and I was thinking about how my insomnia is all about control. I hate that I have no control over when I fall asleep. And so, on those nights I can't sleep, I lie there and TRY to fall asleep, and that makes it so much worse. There was a week after Matt and I got married that I probably only got 8 hours of sleep the whole week! Some nights I didn't sleep at all. I was exhausted and emotional and frustrated. And then, after a lot of prayer, it went away. (Funny side story from that week: one of those nights, around 3am, I was tossing and turning, frustrated and angry. Matt muttered something and I THOUGHT he was awake. This was early on in marriage and BEFORE I knew about Matt's tendency to talk in his sleep. So anyway, I pour out my frustrations to him and ask him for a hug. And he rolls over and mutters something about a dog. I was like, What? And he said, "I can't get that dog to be quiet!" And then he rolled over and started snoozing away. Yep. My husband just referred to me as a noisy dog. We have laughed about that many times since that night.) So yeah, I'm kind of a control freak. Drives me crazy that in this area, I can never have control. I just stress like crazy about how I can't make myself fall asleep, how I won't even know when my body does enter a sleeping state. Crazy, isn't it? Don't know why I've been thinking about that.

Chloe had her 6 month appointment today. And the doc found a bilateral ear infection. Sooo... amoxicillin for her. Did I mention she also had to get 3 shots? Poor baby is tough. She's in the bed cooing happily right now. Brooke would have been screaming like crazy. In fact, she still screams when she has ear aches or shots. I can't imagine combining the two! Anyway, I was worried the doc was going to tell me that Chloe is delayed because she isn't rolling yet. Fortunately, he wasn't worried about it... said that because she's sitting well and has good head control that she might never roll. She might just go straight to pulling up. He did lecture me about her weight. But Chloe, though chubby at almost 20 lbs, is no where near where Brooke was at this age. The doc told me to cut Chloe off from her night feeding. I smiled and nodded my head with NO intention of doing that. I will stop her eventually. But I think if a 6 month old still wants a nighttime feeding, she's welcome to it. Plus, I love to cuddle my sleepy girl in my arms at night. With all the noise and chaos during the day, I so rarely get a chance to do that! My baby is growing up too fast.

Anyway, I'm off to spend some time reading my Bible to Chloe while Brooke is napping (or not napping as the case may be right now!) Hope everyone is well!

So another friend of mine blogged today, and it made me want to blog. Way to go, Janelle Holloway! If you are reading this, I want you to know that if Matt asks why dinner isn't made when he gets home, I'm blaming you!

Brooke is currently obsessed with Barney (yes, the purple dinosaur show). She wakes up saying, "Bar-e, Bar-e!" She stands on her tip-toes to reach the remotes so she can attempt to turn the show on. If she sees a picture of Barney around the house, it sends her into Barney mania. If I turn the show off before she's done watching it, she bursts into sobs. It would be humorous if Barney wasn't quite so annoying. But, alas, Matt and I go around singing Barney songs long after the kids go to bed. Oh, the life of a parent!

Also, Brooke is still my little climber. Couches, coffee tables, chairs... everything but the toddler climber we bought her for Christmas. I truly didn't think anything would be too scary to climb on. Apparently this climber is it! However, when I picked her up from the church nursery on Sunday, she was sprawled out across one of the tables. The workers told me she's there "resident climber." Great.

Chloe is sweet and angelic as always. She's so laid back that she doesn't care to pick up new skills. At 6 months, she's still not rolling. Although she can sit up, she doesn't really like to, so she fusses after 5 or 10 minutes. She can pick up toys but usually would just prefer to stare at them. One skill she picked up quickly is eating solid foods! She loves everything I've given her (apples, pears, sweet potatoes, and tonight carrots is on the menu for the first time!) She finishes EVERY bite, every time. I think she would give up nursing all together if she could. Today, I was eating lunch, and she stared at me with a pathetic, begging look on her face, smacking her little lips. I felt so bad that I decided to start giving her 2 meals a day rather than just one!

Matt and I got to escape from the kids on Saturday night and go on a date for our anniversary. It was so nice... I got to dress up, paint my nails, take a bath, and feel pretty. I have less than 5 pounds of baby weight to lose now, and currently only have one pair of jeans I can fit in. Not small enough for pre-pregnancy jeans, too small for transitional jeans. So if you see me wearing the same pair of pants every day, you'll know why (I do wash them occasionally!)

My New Years Resolution is to learn to love others more. The pastor at my church said something on Sunday that stuck with me: if I'm too busy to care about others, than I'm too busy. So true. I make the excuse not to get involved in other people's lives because, well, I'm the parent of 2 young kids, and that takes up all my time, and they'll understand. Blah, blah, blah. I feel like I'm a failure sometimes at balancing my life as a mother and my life as everything else. Some women bounce back into ministry and job with no issue. My life sometimes seems like it was put on hold when I became a parent. I've gotten better (thank you, Accountability Girls, for loving on me and getting me out of the house!) but I still have no ministry, no women's Bible study, no church small group. So anyway, hopefully, things will change this year, by God's grace. One thing that will help is the other New Year's Resolution that Matt and I both made this year: NO BABY IN 2012!! Yep, that's right. We're determined! (As if God ever has followed our plans before! :) )

And, speaking of Matt, Happy 3rd Anniversary to my wonderful, handsome husband! I waited so long for him and am so blessed to have him. Life is crazy but I wouldn't change it for all the world!

Off to spend time with the Father while the kids nap...