Quote from the book Captivating by John and Staci Eldridge:
"We have all heard it said that a woman is most beautiful when she is in love. It's true... When a woman is loved and loved deeply, she glows from the inside. This radiance stems from a heart that has it's deepest questions answered, 'Am I lovely?'... When this question is answered yes, a restful quiet spirit settles in a woman's heart.
And every woman can have these questions answered yes. You have been and you will continue to be romanced all your life. Yes. Our God finds you lovely. Jesus has moved heaven and earth to win you for himself... The King is enthralled by your beauty. He finds you captivating."
I read this quote when I was single and I just read it again today... and it created the same longing inside me. Matt is a wonderful husband and provider and he completes me in many ways, but he can never fill the hole inside of me that God created for Himself. I had heard this when I was single but never truly understood it. There was always a part of me that thought marriage would make me feel that "restful, quiet spirit" that the quote above talks about. But when I am not living in intimacy with God, even being married to a wonderful man like Matt cannot create that spirit. Living selfishly causes a spirit of want, of unease, of jealousy... Only God can bring peace inside of me.
That's all. Just something I was thinking about and wanted to write down. Now I'm off to bake cookies!
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Schedules (or lack thereof)
I am a scheduler. I like to-do lists. I like to know exactly what's going to happen in a day. I thrive on accomplishing what I've planned. I don't like change. I don't like surprise drop-in visits (I'm working on this because I believe this is not a Christ-like attitude)... in fact, I usually need 24 hours notice for any socializing. I don't like to be interrupted from something that I'm working on. Needless to say, these character traits do not mesh well with parenthood. (By the way, Matt has these same traits... double bad!)
When Brooke was born, I had read the literature about putting my baby on a routine, the "cry-it-out" method, etc. I was determined to have Brooke on a routine by Day 7, and she would be taking scheduled naps and sleeping through the night by Week 12. Brooke had other plans. She did not (and still does not) see any need for routines. Or sleep, for that matter. She really didn't do much but cat nap until 6 months. She did not have a decent nap schedule until 10 months. And then she dropped her morning nap at 12 months, once again throwing off her (and my) schedule. She DID sleep through the night at 4 months. And stopped at 5 months. And then started again at 7 months. And then stopped at... whenever. Now, at 2 1/2, she's on a naptime/bedtime schedule (naps at 1:30, bedtime at 9), but there is no rhyme nor reason to how well she goes down or how long she sleeps. Some mornings, she's up at 7 and others, she sleeps until almost 9. Many times, I have to stay in her room and repeatedly tell her to lie down, just to get her to go to sleep. If not, she will play in her room for hours, until she's so exhausted, she will cry if you look at her funny. I now know this is how God made her, and I love her just like she is (even if she drives me crazy sometimes!) She is hyper and happy and adventurous and crazy and smart and perfect. Just how she is. And I'm learning to deal with our differences (although I'm sure there will still be many difficult moments ahead!)
Chloe was born when Brooke was 14 1/2 months old. I didn't know what to expect with Chloe after Brooke. Brooke cried the entire night after she was born. Actually, she cried most of the first 8 weeks after she was born. (I believed, at that time, that I was the worst mother ever!) I remember the nurse telling me, that first night, that she thought I was going to have a difficult baby. Not helpful! So when Chloe was born, I anticipated the worst. Chloe slept the entire first 2 weeks of her life. Seriously. I could put her down anywhere and she would sleep. I used to carry her while she slept because I felt guilty laying her down so much! Chloe put herself on a schedule within a couple months old. She self-soothed... no "cry-it-out" involved. She didn't sleep through the night until she was a year old, but she would eat for 15 min and always go right back to sleep. Even now, she puts herself to sleep within minutes of laying her down. She's crazy addicted to routine, and falls apart if her routine is off in the slightest (wonder where she got that from!) So completely opposite of Brooke... it's hard to believe they have the same parents!
So anyway, I've been thinking about this a lot recently. I read an article the other day on pinterest about babies that would not follow the steps to be on a schedule. With Brooke, I always felt like I was doing something wrong. I was following the steps! Why weren't they working? I used to think other "better" mothers could get Brooke on a routine. I was just no good at mothering. And now I know... the "steps" do not always work. So, for any mothers out there that are frustrated, I hope you can find comfort in my story. If the "steps" work for you, great! But if not, don't get frustrated. The first year is tough but it WILL get better. Every baby is different... you have to find what works best for you!
And that's all. I'm off to get ready for our annual Halloween party....
When Brooke was born, I had read the literature about putting my baby on a routine, the "cry-it-out" method, etc. I was determined to have Brooke on a routine by Day 7, and she would be taking scheduled naps and sleeping through the night by Week 12. Brooke had other plans. She did not (and still does not) see any need for routines. Or sleep, for that matter. She really didn't do much but cat nap until 6 months. She did not have a decent nap schedule until 10 months. And then she dropped her morning nap at 12 months, once again throwing off her (and my) schedule. She DID sleep through the night at 4 months. And stopped at 5 months. And then started again at 7 months. And then stopped at... whenever. Now, at 2 1/2, she's on a naptime/bedtime schedule (naps at 1:30, bedtime at 9), but there is no rhyme nor reason to how well she goes down or how long she sleeps. Some mornings, she's up at 7 and others, she sleeps until almost 9. Many times, I have to stay in her room and repeatedly tell her to lie down, just to get her to go to sleep. If not, she will play in her room for hours, until she's so exhausted, she will cry if you look at her funny. I now know this is how God made her, and I love her just like she is (even if she drives me crazy sometimes!) She is hyper and happy and adventurous and crazy and smart and perfect. Just how she is. And I'm learning to deal with our differences (although I'm sure there will still be many difficult moments ahead!)
Chloe was born when Brooke was 14 1/2 months old. I didn't know what to expect with Chloe after Brooke. Brooke cried the entire night after she was born. Actually, she cried most of the first 8 weeks after she was born. (I believed, at that time, that I was the worst mother ever!) I remember the nurse telling me, that first night, that she thought I was going to have a difficult baby. Not helpful! So when Chloe was born, I anticipated the worst. Chloe slept the entire first 2 weeks of her life. Seriously. I could put her down anywhere and she would sleep. I used to carry her while she slept because I felt guilty laying her down so much! Chloe put herself on a schedule within a couple months old. She self-soothed... no "cry-it-out" involved. She didn't sleep through the night until she was a year old, but she would eat for 15 min and always go right back to sleep. Even now, she puts herself to sleep within minutes of laying her down. She's crazy addicted to routine, and falls apart if her routine is off in the slightest (wonder where she got that from!) So completely opposite of Brooke... it's hard to believe they have the same parents!
So anyway, I've been thinking about this a lot recently. I read an article the other day on pinterest about babies that would not follow the steps to be on a schedule. With Brooke, I always felt like I was doing something wrong. I was following the steps! Why weren't they working? I used to think other "better" mothers could get Brooke on a routine. I was just no good at mothering. And now I know... the "steps" do not always work. So, for any mothers out there that are frustrated, I hope you can find comfort in my story. If the "steps" work for you, great! But if not, don't get frustrated. The first year is tough but it WILL get better. Every baby is different... you have to find what works best for you!
And that's all. I'm off to get ready for our annual Halloween party....
Monday, October 22, 2012
Don't judge a book (or a church) by it's cover
I have SOOO much laundry and dishes to catch up on, but this has been on my heart a lot recently. I love my church so much; I am so blessed to be worshiping and ministering there. But I didn't always feel this way. Two years ago, when we left Summit Church, it was because we were looking for a church closer to home. We wanted to find a church in OUR community, where we could invite friends we met in our town. Plus, we had a young infant who wasn't keen on the 25 min drive so it was hard to get involved, as I'm sure other moms can testify! So we started searching for churces closer to home. There aren't many contemporary churches in Conway, so most churches were ruled out right away. There is nothing wrong with traditional churches (I went to Pensacola Christian College and know about "traditional"!), but Matt and I both prefer contemporary services. So there was New Life Church. I had heard negative things about New Life, and went in with a skeptical, judgemental attitude. New Life was too much like a production. Too big. Too "open-minded" (although never about clear black and white Biblical issues). Too trendy. Too FUN. And I compared every detail of the service with Summit's services. Matt loved New Life right away and so we took the membership classes and started the process of joining. And I went right on judging and being unhappy. And then God started to show me my attitude. How others around me were worshiping and I was too busy being critical to worship. He reminded me of the dozens of people being saved EVERY WEEK. He showed me pastors whose hearts were in love with Jesus and their fellow church members. He showed me a worship team that wasn't just performing, but LOVING Jesus. And He showed me my negative attitude, my critical spirit, and my worldliness. Oh my. Who was I to judge? And so I started coming into church with a humble attitude. And remembering that I was entering into a building of sinners saved by grace and all at different points in their relationship with Jesus. I certainly am not the measuring stick of spiritual perfection! And my place in the church is to worship, to serve, to love, to learn. And maybe my relationship with Jesus will cause someone else to grow and maybe their relationship with Jesus will cause me to grow.
So anyway, I'm so thankful for New Life, the pastors, the small group I'm involved in, the Little Life ministry that my kids are involved in (and that Matt and I volunteer in once a month), the worship, and everything. It's not a perfect church but it's the perfect fit for us. :)
That's all. Off to do dishes now.
So anyway, I'm so thankful for New Life, the pastors, the small group I'm involved in, the Little Life ministry that my kids are involved in (and that Matt and I volunteer in once a month), the worship, and everything. It's not a perfect church but it's the perfect fit for us. :)
That's all. Off to do dishes now.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
A story about dinner
On Thursday nights, Matt goes to his kickboxing class and likes to eat light. To accomodate this, I make some bacon and hardboiled eggs and chop up some veggies for a salad. Of course, my toddlers aren't going to eat salads, but I make a couple extra boiled eggs. Chloe hates boiled eggs. I know this. I attempt sticking the egg inside a piece of bread to trick her. It doesn't work. She takes one bite of the egg sandwich, and then uses her hand to sweep a majority of the egg/bread mixture onto the floor. Boiled egg is very hard to sweep off the floor. Matt tells Chloe, NO! in a stern voice. Brooke, my little sensitive soul, detects anger in Daddy's voice and bursts into tears. Then, Chloe gets upset that everyone is eating but her and begins to cry as well. So I stuff my salad down as fast as I can (eating fast has become an art-form around here), and get up to warm up some frozen ravioli. Very healthy, I know. While I wait for the water to boil, I pull out the extra-special treat I had made earlier in the day: chocolate covered apples. I hand a couple slices to Brooke. She eats the chocolate off. I tell her to eat the apple. She starts to cry again. Chloe eats both the chocolate and the apple. Both kids smear chocolate all over their face, hair, hands and arms. This I expect. What I don't expect is that Brooke somehow manages to smear chocolate across her stomach and back. So now the ravioli is done. I take it out, cut it up, and set it aside to let it cool. Chloe starts to cry because she wants it NOW. I blow it to cool it quicker and then hand it to her. Brooke starts to cry because she doesn't understand why she must eat boiled egg while Chloe gets ravioli. So I hand Brooke a couple pieces. While they eat their ravioli, I attempt to sweep the egg off the floor. (I repeat: boiled egg is very hard to sweep). Just as I get it clean, Chloe drops her milk cup. Milk splatters everywhere. I clean that up. Then I grab Chloe's tray right as she starts to throw the remaining ravioli onto the floor. I start the process of cleaning chocolate off both kids' entire body surface areas. Both kids cry throughout the cleaning process. Just another dinner around the Schrand household. Gotta love it. The end. :)
Sunday, August 26, 2012
This and that
I blog so little now-a-days (aka since Chloe was born) that I don't even know what to blog about when I do post! Life has been really, really good recently. Everyone always told me that 2 kids would get easier when the younger one was no longer a baby... and they were so right. Brooke is now almost 2 1/2 years old. I'm ashamed to say that she is not potty-trained... nor am I currently trying. I DID try for a few weeks and, though I believe she's physically ready, she was so opposed to it that I just gave up trying for awhile. She loves to sit on the potty with her pants ON, but if I take her pants OFF, she jumps up and yells, "NO!" Okay, ya can't force the child! So my plan is to start up trying again next month. Her sleeping has been great. She goes to bed by herself now with no (okay, very little) complaint. She can get out of bed and play, but she knows she has to stay in her room. So she pulls the stuffed animals out of their bin and the books off the shelves and then eventually climbs into bed and goes to sleep. I have so much more time at night now that I don't lie next to her while she falls asleep. So nice!
Chloe, 13 months, has officially been tagged with a "developmental delay." Usually I'm a huge worrier, but God has given me such a peace about this whole thing. Six weeks ago, at her one year check-up, her pediatrician ordered physical therapy for her, and her first P.T.appointment is at the end of this week (it took forever to get an appointment!) Meanwhile, she has gone from being completely immobile (besides some rolling) to now crawling, pulling up, and cruising along furniture. It's so wonderful to see her finally moving around, that Matt and I can't ever tell her no about anything. She could basically tear apart the house at this point, and we would clap our hands and say, "YAY, Chloe!!!" Her other development is right on target. She is off breast milk AND baby food completely now except baby cereal in the mornings. Other than that, she eats what we eat and is quite accomplished at it! She says "mama," uh oh," "all done," and "bye bye." And she's just as happy and good-natured as ever! Oh, she also started sleeping through the night after she weaned herself from nursing about a month ago. So if there are any moms out there, frustrated, and wondering if their baby will ever stop wanting midnight feedings, take heart! Babies know when they are ready!
Matt and I joined a small group at our church finally. Between having babies and dealing with separation anxiety and such, we've been going to New Life for a year and a half, but have never really gotten involved. We are starting in a group doing the "Love and Respect" study. I wanted to do a study focused on marriage; it's easy to get so focused on kiddos that we don't focus enough on strengthening OUR relationship. Know what I mean?
I've been on a little bit of a health food kick recently. I still eat fast food and drink soda occasionally, but I've just been more conscientious of labels and such. Been trying to homemake more of our snacks and breakfasts. Using more whole wheat ingredients. That kind of stuff. It makes me feel good to provide healthy, yummy meals for the family. Plus, I love to cook and bake. I made homemade fruit-filled cereal bars yesterday that are SO good. Both kids love nutrigrain bars so I was trying to replace them with something homemade (something in which I could pronounce all the ingredients!) Unfortunately, Brooke is so picky that she won't touch the homemade bars. The other problem is that I like them a little too much... I keep going and snatching them from the fridge! Chloe loves them, but she's not a good food critic... she loves just about everything! (At least one of my kids is a good eater!)
So, yeah, life is good. God has really blessed me... He's given me so much more than I could have ever imagined for my life. I'll try to update my blog more frequently in the future. Hope everyone is well... :)
Chloe, 13 months, has officially been tagged with a "developmental delay." Usually I'm a huge worrier, but God has given me such a peace about this whole thing. Six weeks ago, at her one year check-up, her pediatrician ordered physical therapy for her, and her first P.T.appointment is at the end of this week (it took forever to get an appointment!) Meanwhile, she has gone from being completely immobile (besides some rolling) to now crawling, pulling up, and cruising along furniture. It's so wonderful to see her finally moving around, that Matt and I can't ever tell her no about anything. She could basically tear apart the house at this point, and we would clap our hands and say, "YAY, Chloe!!!" Her other development is right on target. She is off breast milk AND baby food completely now except baby cereal in the mornings. Other than that, she eats what we eat and is quite accomplished at it! She says "mama," uh oh," "all done," and "bye bye." And she's just as happy and good-natured as ever! Oh, she also started sleeping through the night after she weaned herself from nursing about a month ago. So if there are any moms out there, frustrated, and wondering if their baby will ever stop wanting midnight feedings, take heart! Babies know when they are ready!
Matt and I joined a small group at our church finally. Between having babies and dealing with separation anxiety and such, we've been going to New Life for a year and a half, but have never really gotten involved. We are starting in a group doing the "Love and Respect" study. I wanted to do a study focused on marriage; it's easy to get so focused on kiddos that we don't focus enough on strengthening OUR relationship. Know what I mean?
I've been on a little bit of a health food kick recently. I still eat fast food and drink soda occasionally, but I've just been more conscientious of labels and such. Been trying to homemake more of our snacks and breakfasts. Using more whole wheat ingredients. That kind of stuff. It makes me feel good to provide healthy, yummy meals for the family. Plus, I love to cook and bake. I made homemade fruit-filled cereal bars yesterday that are SO good. Both kids love nutrigrain bars so I was trying to replace them with something homemade (something in which I could pronounce all the ingredients!) Unfortunately, Brooke is so picky that she won't touch the homemade bars. The other problem is that I like them a little too much... I keep going and snatching them from the fridge! Chloe loves them, but she's not a good food critic... she loves just about everything! (At least one of my kids is a good eater!)
So, yeah, life is good. God has really blessed me... He's given me so much more than I could have ever imagined for my life. I'll try to update my blog more frequently in the future. Hope everyone is well... :)
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
My typical day
So some people wonder what stay at home moms do all day. Here is my typical day, raising 2 girls and managing the household duties:
6:00-7:00 Girls wake me up, I get them dressed and start breakfast
7:00-8:00 Breakfast time and clean up, start laundry
8:00-9:30 Get ready, drive to gym, and work out (the work out is only 30 min... it's the getting 2 young girls back and forth to the gym that takes so long!)
9:30-10:00 Morning bedtime routine for Chloe
10:00-10:30 Shower while Brooke watches Veggietales (incidentally, it used to take me an hour to get ready but those days are far over)
10:30-11:00 Brooke is wanting some one-on-one time from mommy!
11:00-12:30 Chloe wakes up; time to change diapers and feed lunch, then clean lunch dishes
12:30-1:30 Spend time with girls (usually play outside, stroller rides, etc)
1:30-2:00 Start afternoon nap time routine, Chloe's down by 2 usually
2:00-2:45 Finish getting Brooke ready for bed; lie down next to Brooke and wait for her to fall asleep
2:45-3:30 Read Bible, laundry, try to pick up the toys that have exploded all over the house
3:30:4:00 Chloe wakes up, usually fussy so she requires some one-on-one
4:00-5:00 Cook dinner (I need to think of more meals that take less than an hour to cook!!!)
5:00-6:00 Matt gets home, we eat, and clean up the mess
6:00-7:15 Family time, water plants outside, run errands, etc
7:15-7:45 Bath time for the girls
7:45-9:30 Bedtime routine. Chloe's in bed at 8, Brooke between 8:30 and 9, but then I have to lie next to her again while she falls asleep
9:30-11:00 Finish cleaning up toy explosion, dishes, folding laundry etc. And hopefully a moment of time for myself before I go to bed.
So if you come over to my house and wonder why it's a mess when I'm home all day... well, there ya go. That schedule leaves no time for cleaning toilets or vacuuming floors. Thank you, God, for a helpful husband! :)
6:00-7:00 Girls wake me up, I get them dressed and start breakfast
7:00-8:00 Breakfast time and clean up, start laundry
8:00-9:30 Get ready, drive to gym, and work out (the work out is only 30 min... it's the getting 2 young girls back and forth to the gym that takes so long!)
9:30-10:00 Morning bedtime routine for Chloe
10:00-10:30 Shower while Brooke watches Veggietales (incidentally, it used to take me an hour to get ready but those days are far over)
10:30-11:00 Brooke is wanting some one-on-one time from mommy!
11:00-12:30 Chloe wakes up; time to change diapers and feed lunch, then clean lunch dishes
12:30-1:30 Spend time with girls (usually play outside, stroller rides, etc)
1:30-2:00 Start afternoon nap time routine, Chloe's down by 2 usually
2:00-2:45 Finish getting Brooke ready for bed; lie down next to Brooke and wait for her to fall asleep
2:45-3:30 Read Bible, laundry, try to pick up the toys that have exploded all over the house
3:30:4:00 Chloe wakes up, usually fussy so she requires some one-on-one
4:00-5:00 Cook dinner (I need to think of more meals that take less than an hour to cook!!!)
5:00-6:00 Matt gets home, we eat, and clean up the mess
6:00-7:15 Family time, water plants outside, run errands, etc
7:15-7:45 Bath time for the girls
7:45-9:30 Bedtime routine. Chloe's in bed at 8, Brooke between 8:30 and 9, but then I have to lie next to her again while she falls asleep
9:30-11:00 Finish cleaning up toy explosion, dishes, folding laundry etc. And hopefully a moment of time for myself before I go to bed.
So if you come over to my house and wonder why it's a mess when I'm home all day... well, there ya go. That schedule leaves no time for cleaning toilets or vacuuming floors. Thank you, God, for a helpful husband! :)
Monday, April 16, 2012
Toddler struggles
I'm writing this to not only clear my mind, but also, in hopes that someone with more toddler wisdom and experience can help me out.
Brooke (who turned 2 yesterday) has fought sleep since she was a newborn. Most newborns sleep 16-20 hours/day. Brooke slept maybe 10 hours. And spent much of the remainder of the day crying (she was colicy!) Someone asked me when she was a newborn, how I liked being a mother. I said that it was difficult. That person then asked me if Brooke was a good baby. I told her, "Not particularly." The girl looked at me like I was crazy. Of course, I loved Brooke, and wouldn't have traded her for the world, but I'm not a very good liar, and I was extremely sleep-deprived, and, well, there ya go!
By 4 months, Brooke started sleeping through the night. But it was only on-and-off for the next 6 months. And on nights she did wake up, she wouldn't go back to sleep (even more frustrating then a baby that gets up and eats every night then goes back to sleep; believe me, I've had both!) At 10 months, she fought sleep so much, that she was staying up until 2 or 3am almost every night. It was such a difficult time in our lives and marriage. Finally, to preserve our sanity, I started the "cry-it-out" method of sleep training. 2 1/2 hours of screaming the first night, 1 hour the second night, and slowly, things started to get better. I was still nursing her to sleep. But if she woke up at night and wouldn't go back to sleep, she would "cry it out." At 12 months old, I weaned her from nursing, and she had to learn to "self-soothe." This was actually a fairly easy process; within a couple weeks, she was easily falling asleep for naptime and bedtime. Then came a blessed 10 months where she slept well (most of the time!) In that time, I had another baby (Chloe), so I wasn't getting any sleep, but at least Brooke was!
Well, about a month ago, Brooke learned how to climb out of her crib. And that was the end of that... she wouldn't stay in the crib for any reason! I was worried she was going to break a bone, so we went out and bought her a toddler bed. I know other people who have put young toddlers in these beds with few issues. It hasn't been so simple for us. We can't keep her in bed unless we stay in the room with her. But she's learned to fight sleep by playing in her bed, fingering the mini blinds, talking to her stuffed animals, etc. Sometimes it's taken her 2 hours to go to sleep. So I'm stuck in her room anywhere from 30 min to 2 hours until she falls asleep. So Matt and I decided to be firm; we would leave the room, but she got a little spanking on her bottom if she climbed out of bed. But the spanking doesn't phase her. I've figured out that she WANTS me in the room; and is willing to endure the spanking to get me back in there. Today she fought her nap for an hour and a half, before I finally laid down with her. She was so exhausted, she fell asleep almost instantly. She's been much fussier during the day recently because she's not getting enough sleep. And poor Matt and I are so frustrated. I can't get anything done. And Matt and I hardly get any time alone because we spend so long trying to get her to sleep at night.
So here are my options I guess:
-Let her play in her room until she's so exhausted that she finally goes to sleep. Deal with excessive fussiness during the day but less frustration during nap/bed time.
-Continue to lie next to her and make her go to sleep. But deal with frustration over her fighting sleep and my lack of time to get anything done.
-Get the crib back out of the attic and buy a crib net. This is something I never thought I would do. Never say never I guess because here I am seriously considering it for my sanity's sake. It seems cruel to "cage in" a child, but is what I'm doing now any better?
So...thoughts? Anyone else deal with an "anti-sleeper"? Brooke is the sweetest, happiest girl in the world... if she gets her sleep. It's getting her there that causes the problem. :)
Brooke (who turned 2 yesterday) has fought sleep since she was a newborn. Most newborns sleep 16-20 hours/day. Brooke slept maybe 10 hours. And spent much of the remainder of the day crying (she was colicy!) Someone asked me when she was a newborn, how I liked being a mother. I said that it was difficult. That person then asked me if Brooke was a good baby. I told her, "Not particularly." The girl looked at me like I was crazy. Of course, I loved Brooke, and wouldn't have traded her for the world, but I'm not a very good liar, and I was extremely sleep-deprived, and, well, there ya go!
By 4 months, Brooke started sleeping through the night. But it was only on-and-off for the next 6 months. And on nights she did wake up, she wouldn't go back to sleep (even more frustrating then a baby that gets up and eats every night then goes back to sleep; believe me, I've had both!) At 10 months, she fought sleep so much, that she was staying up until 2 or 3am almost every night. It was such a difficult time in our lives and marriage. Finally, to preserve our sanity, I started the "cry-it-out" method of sleep training. 2 1/2 hours of screaming the first night, 1 hour the second night, and slowly, things started to get better. I was still nursing her to sleep. But if she woke up at night and wouldn't go back to sleep, she would "cry it out." At 12 months old, I weaned her from nursing, and she had to learn to "self-soothe." This was actually a fairly easy process; within a couple weeks, she was easily falling asleep for naptime and bedtime. Then came a blessed 10 months where she slept well (most of the time!) In that time, I had another baby (Chloe), so I wasn't getting any sleep, but at least Brooke was!
Well, about a month ago, Brooke learned how to climb out of her crib. And that was the end of that... she wouldn't stay in the crib for any reason! I was worried she was going to break a bone, so we went out and bought her a toddler bed. I know other people who have put young toddlers in these beds with few issues. It hasn't been so simple for us. We can't keep her in bed unless we stay in the room with her. But she's learned to fight sleep by playing in her bed, fingering the mini blinds, talking to her stuffed animals, etc. Sometimes it's taken her 2 hours to go to sleep. So I'm stuck in her room anywhere from 30 min to 2 hours until she falls asleep. So Matt and I decided to be firm; we would leave the room, but she got a little spanking on her bottom if she climbed out of bed. But the spanking doesn't phase her. I've figured out that she WANTS me in the room; and is willing to endure the spanking to get me back in there. Today she fought her nap for an hour and a half, before I finally laid down with her. She was so exhausted, she fell asleep almost instantly. She's been much fussier during the day recently because she's not getting enough sleep. And poor Matt and I are so frustrated. I can't get anything done. And Matt and I hardly get any time alone because we spend so long trying to get her to sleep at night.
So here are my options I guess:
-Let her play in her room until she's so exhausted that she finally goes to sleep. Deal with excessive fussiness during the day but less frustration during nap/bed time.
-Continue to lie next to her and make her go to sleep. But deal with frustration over her fighting sleep and my lack of time to get anything done.
-Get the crib back out of the attic and buy a crib net. This is something I never thought I would do. Never say never I guess because here I am seriously considering it for my sanity's sake. It seems cruel to "cage in" a child, but is what I'm doing now any better?
So...thoughts? Anyone else deal with an "anti-sleeper"? Brooke is the sweetest, happiest girl in the world... if she gets her sleep. It's getting her there that causes the problem. :)
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
You know those blogs written by the perfect homemakers? The women that cook perfect meals, bake their own bread, have warm and gooey homemade desserts with dinner (that are somehow healthy as well as delicious), use coupons to save 95% on their grocery bill, and have a perfectly clean and organized home? Plus, they post devotionals on their blog and save the world in their spare time. I'm not one of those women. But I'm addicted to reading their blogs. Maybe because I dream of becoming one of those women. Maybe because I've never actually met a woman like that and wonder if those "super mom" bloggers are faking it. Anyway, all that to say, I was reminded tonight how much I am NOT one of those perfect homemakers:
Matt has had a hard couple of days and I wanted to make him a treat. What better treat than a homemade copycat girl scout samoa. The pictures looked amazing. The instructions looked fairly simple (albeit time consuming). So... yeah. There ya go. I decided to simplify matters and NOT use cookie cutters to make the little donut shapes. (My first mistake?) Then, I couldn't get the caramel/coconut mixture to stick to the cookie (it was sticking to my hand, the knife, and the side of the bowl I melted it in just fine). By the time, I got to the chocolate, I was frustrated and tense and just didn't care anymore. After they cooled, Matt bit into one, and I asked him if it tasted like a samoa. He hesitated and then said, "Honestly? No." So... FAIL!! Then I spent the whole night feeling like I wasted an afternoon and was frustrated that I didn't just make chocolate chip cookies as a treat. And God had to remind me that not EVERY project I start is going to turn out perfectly because I'm NOT perfect. And that's okay. I don't have to strive to be a perfect homemaker, trophy wife, and super mom all at the same time. I try to keep a neat house, I try to show my kids that I love them and Jesus loves them, I try to make myself attractive for my husband. And sometimes I make ugly desserts in my spare time. :)
One of the highlights of my weekend is going out to eat as a family. I know it's not health-prudent or money-prudent; I don't care. It's the one time a week that I feel like I can relax at dinner and let someone else serve me. So, Friday night, Matt took the family out. We tried to go to Stoby's (our fave hole-in-the-wall where we live), but the parking lot was full. Then we went to Cactus Jacks (our fave Mexican restaurant) but ran into the same problem. So onto the local Italian place. We had the WORST service that we've ever received since we've been going out together. Seriously. The night was terrible; the food was not even that great. So I was all bummed that my weekly dinner out was ruined. Then Matt (being the great husband that he is) took me out again Sunday night to make up for it. And our perfect angel baby (Miss Chloe, herself) decided to cry and scream about 5 minutes after we set her in the high-chair. Loud enough to be heard across the whole restaurant. So Matt walked her around the restaurant while I sat with Brooke and waited for the waitress to bag up our dinner. Yep... at that point, we just had to laugh. Some things are just not meant to be, I guess. One of those stories that we'll tell Chloe about in 16 years and laugh over.
Well, I must fold laundry so Matt and I actually have a place to sleep tonight. Hope all are well...
Matt has had a hard couple of days and I wanted to make him a treat. What better treat than a homemade copycat girl scout samoa. The pictures looked amazing. The instructions looked fairly simple (albeit time consuming). So... yeah. There ya go. I decided to simplify matters and NOT use cookie cutters to make the little donut shapes. (My first mistake?) Then, I couldn't get the caramel/coconut mixture to stick to the cookie (it was sticking to my hand, the knife, and the side of the bowl I melted it in just fine). By the time, I got to the chocolate, I was frustrated and tense and just didn't care anymore. After they cooled, Matt bit into one, and I asked him if it tasted like a samoa. He hesitated and then said, "Honestly? No." So... FAIL!! Then I spent the whole night feeling like I wasted an afternoon and was frustrated that I didn't just make chocolate chip cookies as a treat. And God had to remind me that not EVERY project I start is going to turn out perfectly because I'm NOT perfect. And that's okay. I don't have to strive to be a perfect homemaker, trophy wife, and super mom all at the same time. I try to keep a neat house, I try to show my kids that I love them and Jesus loves them, I try to make myself attractive for my husband. And sometimes I make ugly desserts in my spare time. :)
One of the highlights of my weekend is going out to eat as a family. I know it's not health-prudent or money-prudent; I don't care. It's the one time a week that I feel like I can relax at dinner and let someone else serve me. So, Friday night, Matt took the family out. We tried to go to Stoby's (our fave hole-in-the-wall where we live), but the parking lot was full. Then we went to Cactus Jacks (our fave Mexican restaurant) but ran into the same problem. So onto the local Italian place. We had the WORST service that we've ever received since we've been going out together. Seriously. The night was terrible; the food was not even that great. So I was all bummed that my weekly dinner out was ruined. Then Matt (being the great husband that he is) took me out again Sunday night to make up for it. And our perfect angel baby (Miss Chloe, herself) decided to cry and scream about 5 minutes after we set her in the high-chair. Loud enough to be heard across the whole restaurant. So Matt walked her around the restaurant while I sat with Brooke and waited for the waitress to bag up our dinner. Yep... at that point, we just had to laugh. Some things are just not meant to be, I guess. One of those stories that we'll tell Chloe about in 16 years and laugh over.
Well, I must fold laundry so Matt and I actually have a place to sleep tonight. Hope all are well...
Monday, January 23, 2012
I am somewhat of an insomniac at times. Nothing like some people; I've never had to take any meds for it except the occasional Benadryl. But I go through phases of lying in bed for hours before going to sleep. I don't know why I've been thinking about this because, with 2 little ones (one who still gets up at least once a night), I usually fall asleep when my head hits the pillow. But it took me awhile to fall asleep last night, and I was thinking about how my insomnia is all about control. I hate that I have no control over when I fall asleep. And so, on those nights I can't sleep, I lie there and TRY to fall asleep, and that makes it so much worse. There was a week after Matt and I got married that I probably only got 8 hours of sleep the whole week! Some nights I didn't sleep at all. I was exhausted and emotional and frustrated. And then, after a lot of prayer, it went away. (Funny side story from that week: one of those nights, around 3am, I was tossing and turning, frustrated and angry. Matt muttered something and I THOUGHT he was awake. This was early on in marriage and BEFORE I knew about Matt's tendency to talk in his sleep. So anyway, I pour out my frustrations to him and ask him for a hug. And he rolls over and mutters something about a dog. I was like, What? And he said, "I can't get that dog to be quiet!" And then he rolled over and started snoozing away. Yep. My husband just referred to me as a noisy dog. We have laughed about that many times since that night.) So yeah, I'm kind of a control freak. Drives me crazy that in this area, I can never have control. I just stress like crazy about how I can't make myself fall asleep, how I won't even know when my body does enter a sleeping state. Crazy, isn't it? Don't know why I've been thinking about that.
Chloe had her 6 month appointment today. And the doc found a bilateral ear infection. Sooo... amoxicillin for her. Did I mention she also had to get 3 shots? Poor baby is tough. She's in the bed cooing happily right now. Brooke would have been screaming like crazy. In fact, she still screams when she has ear aches or shots. I can't imagine combining the two! Anyway, I was worried the doc was going to tell me that Chloe is delayed because she isn't rolling yet. Fortunately, he wasn't worried about it... said that because she's sitting well and has good head control that she might never roll. She might just go straight to pulling up. He did lecture me about her weight. But Chloe, though chubby at almost 20 lbs, is no where near where Brooke was at this age. The doc told me to cut Chloe off from her night feeding. I smiled and nodded my head with NO intention of doing that. I will stop her eventually. But I think if a 6 month old still wants a nighttime feeding, she's welcome to it. Plus, I love to cuddle my sleepy girl in my arms at night. With all the noise and chaos during the day, I so rarely get a chance to do that! My baby is growing up too fast.
Anyway, I'm off to spend some time reading my Bible to Chloe while Brooke is napping (or not napping as the case may be right now!) Hope everyone is well!
Chloe had her 6 month appointment today. And the doc found a bilateral ear infection. Sooo... amoxicillin for her. Did I mention she also had to get 3 shots? Poor baby is tough. She's in the bed cooing happily right now. Brooke would have been screaming like crazy. In fact, she still screams when she has ear aches or shots. I can't imagine combining the two! Anyway, I was worried the doc was going to tell me that Chloe is delayed because she isn't rolling yet. Fortunately, he wasn't worried about it... said that because she's sitting well and has good head control that she might never roll. She might just go straight to pulling up. He did lecture me about her weight. But Chloe, though chubby at almost 20 lbs, is no where near where Brooke was at this age. The doc told me to cut Chloe off from her night feeding. I smiled and nodded my head with NO intention of doing that. I will stop her eventually. But I think if a 6 month old still wants a nighttime feeding, she's welcome to it. Plus, I love to cuddle my sleepy girl in my arms at night. With all the noise and chaos during the day, I so rarely get a chance to do that! My baby is growing up too fast.
Anyway, I'm off to spend some time reading my Bible to Chloe while Brooke is napping (or not napping as the case may be right now!) Hope everyone is well!
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
So another friend of mine blogged today, and it made me want to blog. Way to go, Janelle Holloway! If you are reading this, I want you to know that if Matt asks why dinner isn't made when he gets home, I'm blaming you!
Brooke is currently obsessed with Barney (yes, the purple dinosaur show). She wakes up saying, "Bar-e, Bar-e!" She stands on her tip-toes to reach the remotes so she can attempt to turn the show on. If she sees a picture of Barney around the house, it sends her into Barney mania. If I turn the show off before she's done watching it, she bursts into sobs. It would be humorous if Barney wasn't quite so annoying. But, alas, Matt and I go around singing Barney songs long after the kids go to bed. Oh, the life of a parent!
Also, Brooke is still my little climber. Couches, coffee tables, chairs... everything but the toddler climber we bought her for Christmas. I truly didn't think anything would be too scary to climb on. Apparently this climber is it! However, when I picked her up from the church nursery on Sunday, she was sprawled out across one of the tables. The workers told me she's there "resident climber." Great.
Chloe is sweet and angelic as always. She's so laid back that she doesn't care to pick up new skills. At 6 months, she's still not rolling. Although she can sit up, she doesn't really like to, so she fusses after 5 or 10 minutes. She can pick up toys but usually would just prefer to stare at them. One skill she picked up quickly is eating solid foods! She loves everything I've given her (apples, pears, sweet potatoes, and tonight carrots is on the menu for the first time!) She finishes EVERY bite, every time. I think she would give up nursing all together if she could. Today, I was eating lunch, and she stared at me with a pathetic, begging look on her face, smacking her little lips. I felt so bad that I decided to start giving her 2 meals a day rather than just one!
Matt and I got to escape from the kids on Saturday night and go on a date for our anniversary. It was so nice... I got to dress up, paint my nails, take a bath, and feel pretty. I have less than 5 pounds of baby weight to lose now, and currently only have one pair of jeans I can fit in. Not small enough for pre-pregnancy jeans, too small for transitional jeans. So if you see me wearing the same pair of pants every day, you'll know why (I do wash them occasionally!)
My New Years Resolution is to learn to love others more. The pastor at my church said something on Sunday that stuck with me: if I'm too busy to care about others, than I'm too busy. So true. I make the excuse not to get involved in other people's lives because, well, I'm the parent of 2 young kids, and that takes up all my time, and they'll understand. Blah, blah, blah. I feel like I'm a failure sometimes at balancing my life as a mother and my life as everything else. Some women bounce back into ministry and job with no issue. My life sometimes seems like it was put on hold when I became a parent. I've gotten better (thank you, Accountability Girls, for loving on me and getting me out of the house!) but I still have no ministry, no women's Bible study, no church small group. So anyway, hopefully, things will change this year, by God's grace. One thing that will help is the other New Year's Resolution that Matt and I both made this year: NO BABY IN 2012!! Yep, that's right. We're determined! (As if God ever has followed our plans before! :) )
And, speaking of Matt, Happy 3rd Anniversary to my wonderful, handsome husband! I waited so long for him and am so blessed to have him. Life is crazy but I wouldn't change it for all the world!
Off to spend time with the Father while the kids nap...
Brooke is currently obsessed with Barney (yes, the purple dinosaur show). She wakes up saying, "Bar-e, Bar-e!" She stands on her tip-toes to reach the remotes so she can attempt to turn the show on. If she sees a picture of Barney around the house, it sends her into Barney mania. If I turn the show off before she's done watching it, she bursts into sobs. It would be humorous if Barney wasn't quite so annoying. But, alas, Matt and I go around singing Barney songs long after the kids go to bed. Oh, the life of a parent!
Also, Brooke is still my little climber. Couches, coffee tables, chairs... everything but the toddler climber we bought her for Christmas. I truly didn't think anything would be too scary to climb on. Apparently this climber is it! However, when I picked her up from the church nursery on Sunday, she was sprawled out across one of the tables. The workers told me she's there "resident climber." Great.
Chloe is sweet and angelic as always. She's so laid back that she doesn't care to pick up new skills. At 6 months, she's still not rolling. Although she can sit up, she doesn't really like to, so she fusses after 5 or 10 minutes. She can pick up toys but usually would just prefer to stare at them. One skill she picked up quickly is eating solid foods! She loves everything I've given her (apples, pears, sweet potatoes, and tonight carrots is on the menu for the first time!) She finishes EVERY bite, every time. I think she would give up nursing all together if she could. Today, I was eating lunch, and she stared at me with a pathetic, begging look on her face, smacking her little lips. I felt so bad that I decided to start giving her 2 meals a day rather than just one!
Matt and I got to escape from the kids on Saturday night and go on a date for our anniversary. It was so nice... I got to dress up, paint my nails, take a bath, and feel pretty. I have less than 5 pounds of baby weight to lose now, and currently only have one pair of jeans I can fit in. Not small enough for pre-pregnancy jeans, too small for transitional jeans. So if you see me wearing the same pair of pants every day, you'll know why (I do wash them occasionally!)
My New Years Resolution is to learn to love others more. The pastor at my church said something on Sunday that stuck with me: if I'm too busy to care about others, than I'm too busy. So true. I make the excuse not to get involved in other people's lives because, well, I'm the parent of 2 young kids, and that takes up all my time, and they'll understand. Blah, blah, blah. I feel like I'm a failure sometimes at balancing my life as a mother and my life as everything else. Some women bounce back into ministry and job with no issue. My life sometimes seems like it was put on hold when I became a parent. I've gotten better (thank you, Accountability Girls, for loving on me and getting me out of the house!) but I still have no ministry, no women's Bible study, no church small group. So anyway, hopefully, things will change this year, by God's grace. One thing that will help is the other New Year's Resolution that Matt and I both made this year: NO BABY IN 2012!! Yep, that's right. We're determined! (As if God ever has followed our plans before! :) )
And, speaking of Matt, Happy 3rd Anniversary to my wonderful, handsome husband! I waited so long for him and am so blessed to have him. Life is crazy but I wouldn't change it for all the world!
Off to spend time with the Father while the kids nap...
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