Schedules (or lack thereof)

I am a scheduler. I like to-do lists. I like to know exactly what's going to happen in a day. I thrive on accomplishing what I've planned. I don't like change. I don't like surprise drop-in visits (I'm working on this because I believe this is not a Christ-like attitude)... in fact, I usually need 24 hours notice for any socializing. I don't like to be interrupted from something that I'm working on. Needless to say, these character traits do not mesh well with parenthood. (By the way, Matt has these same traits... double bad!)

When Brooke was born, I had read the literature about putting my baby on a routine, the "cry-it-out" method, etc. I was determined to have Brooke on a routine by Day 7, and she would be taking scheduled naps and sleeping through the night by Week 12. Brooke had other plans. She did not (and still does not) see any need for routines. Or sleep, for that matter.  She really didn't do much but cat nap until 6 months. She did not have a decent nap schedule until 10 months. And then she dropped her morning nap at 12 months, once again throwing off her (and my) schedule. She DID sleep through the night at 4 months. And stopped at 5 months. And then started again at 7 months. And then stopped at... whenever. Now, at 2 1/2, she's on a naptime/bedtime schedule (naps at 1:30, bedtime at 9), but there is no rhyme nor reason to how well she goes down or how long she sleeps. Some mornings, she's up at 7 and others, she sleeps until almost 9. Many times, I have to stay in her room and repeatedly tell her to lie down, just to get her to go to sleep. If not, she will play in her room for hours, until she's so exhausted, she will cry if you look at her funny. I now know this is how God made her, and I love her just like she is (even if she drives me crazy sometimes!) She is hyper and happy and adventurous and crazy and smart and perfect. Just how she is. And I'm learning to deal with our differences (although I'm sure there will still be many difficult moments ahead!)

Chloe was born when Brooke was 14 1/2 months old. I didn't know what to expect with Chloe after Brooke. Brooke cried the entire night after she was born. Actually, she cried most of the first 8 weeks after she was born. (I believed, at that time, that I was the worst mother ever!) I remember the nurse telling me, that first night, that she thought I was going to have a difficult baby. Not helpful! So when Chloe was born, I anticipated the worst. Chloe slept the entire first 2 weeks of her life. Seriously. I could put her down anywhere and she would sleep. I used to carry her while she slept because I felt guilty laying her down so much! Chloe put herself on a schedule within a couple months old. She self-soothed... no "cry-it-out" involved. She didn't sleep through the night until she was a year old, but she would eat for 15 min and always go right back to sleep. Even now, she puts herself to sleep within minutes of laying her down. She's crazy addicted to routine, and falls apart if her routine is off in the slightest (wonder where she got that from!) So completely opposite of Brooke... it's hard to believe they have the same parents!

So anyway, I've been thinking about this a lot recently. I read an article the other day on pinterest about babies that would not follow the steps to be on a schedule. With Brooke, I always felt like I was doing something wrong. I was following the steps! Why weren't they working? I used to think other "better" mothers could get Brooke on a routine. I was just no good at mothering. And now I know... the "steps" do not always work. So, for any mothers out there that are frustrated, I hope you can find comfort in my story. If the "steps" work for you, great! But if not, don't get frustrated. The first year is tough but it WILL get better. Every baby is different... you have to find what works best for you!

And that's all. I'm off to get ready for our annual Halloween party....

Don't judge a book (or a church) by it's cover

I have SOOO much laundry and dishes to catch up on, but this has been on my heart a lot recently. I love my church so much; I am so blessed to be worshiping and ministering there. But I didn't always feel this way. Two years ago, when we left Summit Church, it was because we were looking for a church closer to home. We wanted to find a church in OUR community, where we could invite friends we met in our town. Plus, we had a young infant who wasn't keen on the 25 min drive so it was hard to get involved, as I'm sure other moms can testify! So we started searching for churces closer to home. There aren't many contemporary churches in Conway, so most churches were ruled out right away. There is nothing wrong with traditional churches (I went to Pensacola Christian College and know about "traditional"!), but Matt and I both prefer contemporary services. So there was New Life Church. I had heard negative things about New Life, and went in with a skeptical, judgemental attitude. New Life was too much like a production. Too big. Too "open-minded" (although never about clear black and white Biblical issues). Too trendy. Too FUN. And I compared every detail of the service with Summit's services. Matt loved New Life right away and so we took the membership classes and started the process of joining. And I went right on judging and being unhappy. And then God started to show me my attitude. How others around me were worshiping and I was too busy being critical to worship. He reminded me of the dozens of people being saved EVERY WEEK. He showed me pastors whose hearts were in love with Jesus and their fellow church members. He showed me a worship team that wasn't just performing, but LOVING Jesus. And He showed me my negative attitude, my critical spirit, and my worldliness. Oh my. Who was I to judge?  And so I started coming into church with a humble attitude. And remembering that I was entering into a building of sinners saved by grace and all at different points in their relationship with Jesus. I certainly am not the measuring stick of spiritual perfection! And my place in the church is to worship, to serve, to love, to learn. And maybe my relationship with Jesus will cause someone else to grow and maybe their relationship with Jesus will cause me to grow.

So anyway, I'm so thankful for New Life, the pastors, the small group I'm involved in, the Little Life ministry that my kids are involved in (and that Matt and I volunteer in once a month), the worship, and everything. It's not a perfect church but it's the perfect fit for us. :) 

That's all. Off to do dishes now.  

A story about dinner

On Thursday nights, Matt goes to his kickboxing class and likes to eat light. To accomodate this, I make some bacon and hardboiled eggs and chop up some veggies for a salad. Of course, my toddlers aren't going to eat salads, but I make a couple extra boiled eggs. Chloe hates boiled eggs. I know this. I attempt sticking the egg inside a piece of bread to trick her. It doesn't work. She takes one bite of the egg sandwich, and then uses her hand to sweep a majority of the egg/bread mixture onto the floor. Boiled egg is very hard to sweep off the floor. Matt tells Chloe, NO! in a stern voice. Brooke, my little sensitive soul, detects anger in Daddy's voice and bursts into tears. Then, Chloe gets upset that everyone is eating but her and begins to cry as well. So I stuff my salad down as fast as I can (eating fast has become an art-form around here), and get up to warm up some frozen ravioli. Very healthy, I know. While I wait for the water to boil, I pull out the extra-special treat I had made earlier in the day: chocolate covered apples. I hand a couple slices to Brooke. She eats the chocolate off. I tell her to eat the apple. She starts to cry again. Chloe eats both the chocolate and the apple. Both kids smear chocolate all over their face, hair, hands and arms. This I expect. What I don't expect is that Brooke somehow manages to smear chocolate across her stomach and back. So now the ravioli is done. I take it out, cut it up, and set it aside to let it cool. Chloe starts to cry because she wants it NOW. I blow it to cool it quicker and then hand it to her. Brooke starts to cry because she doesn't understand why she must eat boiled egg while Chloe gets ravioli. So I hand Brooke a couple pieces. While they eat their ravioli, I attempt to sweep the egg off the floor. (I repeat: boiled egg is very hard to sweep). Just as I get it clean, Chloe drops her milk cup. Milk splatters everywhere. I clean that up. Then I grab Chloe's tray right as she starts to throw the remaining ravioli onto the floor. I start the process of cleaning chocolate off both kids' entire body surface areas. Both kids cry throughout the cleaning process. Just another dinner around the Schrand household. Gotta love it. The end.  :)